Sharing Food & Drink Brings Couples Closer, But Experts Say Be Careful of Big Moves in That Setting

Couples who wine and dine together have stronger ties than those in a who eat or drink alone, one person at a time, a recent study on New Yorkers who imbibe has found. But experts also warn that despite the warm glow, be careful about letting that lead to big moves while under the influence.

Another study in Britain heralded the advantages for married couples dining together. But the same study warned that couples should keep the phones off while dining because that would cost their relationship points to drop precipitously.

One in every five New York couples think sharing a drink makes their relationship stronger, according to the findings of TexasDivorceLaws.org a self-described “comprehensive one-stop shop for individuals learning how to start a marriage, file for divorce, plan their nuptial agreements, and navigate the asset protection elements of marriage and divorce in the state of Texas. For some reason the Texans looked north and said it surveyed 3,000 Big Apple couples to reach that conclusion.

The couples, who report sharing drinks about three times a week on a regular basis while dating, say that drinking together brings them closer when they share the same type of alcohol or keep up with each other’s consumption during the date.

They admit that alcohol loosens tongues, allowing them to share intimacies they might otherwise hide. Some add that it makes it possible to avoid disagreements, which is a good thing. The downside is that the disagreements remain unresolved.

More troubling, nearly 25 percent of those interviewed said they might make really big decisions like whether to move into together or apply for a mortgage or loan while inebriated. This last led Shaun Connell, the site founder, to warn that “while shared experiences, including occasional drinking, can play a positive role in partnerships, the high percentage of couples relying on alcohol as a cornerstone of their relationships raises important questions about healthy relationship dynamics.” In short, while booze bonding “may seem to offer short-term benefits, the long-term stability and health of relationships likely depend on more fundamental factors such as trust, communication, and mutual respect.”

Luckily, foodies can repair emphasize the latter by walking into the kitchen to make dinner. As the site Marriage.com explains, cooking together offers a number of benefits. The obvious first good thing is that given the mini dimensions of most Manhattan apartment kitchens, of two people in the small room promotes intimacy. Beyond that, not only is home cooking easier on the budget than eating out every night, doing it together offers a few moment of quality time in which to share goals (“Steak? Roast chicken? Pasta?”) and practice problem-solving patience with a partner when dinners done (“You cook, I’ll dry”).

Moving to the table, across The Pond, Harry Benson of the UK Marriage Foundation and the University of Lincoln’s Steve McKay combed through the 7,000-person UK Time Use Survey to discover an amazing 46,000 data points demonstrating that married couples who eat together are more likely to be happy in their relationship–unless they keep their phones on during the meal, which drops their satisfaction score by nearly ten points.

[For the record, the effect is not limited to humans. PsychologyToday.com says that minus the phones sharing food even a single time leads to increased social bonding and higher levels of cooperation in our closest relatives, the chimpanzees. Another way evolution made us who we are.]