SKITS & IMPROV BURN MANHATTAN Improv multimedia comedy; Nada 45, ...

Improv multimedia comedy; Nada 45, 445 W. 45th St., 4th Fl. (betw. 9th & 10th Aves.), 502-0868; call for schedule, $8.

CHARLIE VICTOR ROMEO

Techno-thriller derived from actual "black box" transcripts of six real life airlines emergencies; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow St. (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.), 254-5277; Thurs.-Sat. at 8, $8 [though 5/27].

FUNNY...SHEESH

Jason Grossmen rounds up comedians, dancers, puppeteers & other assorted weirdos for the First Annual Alternative Variety Festival; Manhattan Theater Source, 177 MacDougal (betw. Waverly & 8th Sts.), 501-4751; Tues. at 8, $10.

GERSHWIN HOTEL

Patrick Borelli & Jen Kirkman's weekly night of stand-up, improv & sketch comedy for "NYC's Most Beautiful Performers" & Adjutant Stork?; Gershwin Hotel, 7 E. 27th St. (betw. 5th & Madison Aves.), 718-832-3822; Thurs. at 8, free w/1 drink min.

THE GRAPES OF RALPH

Leading-edge sketch comedy from the up-and-coming, five member troupe Ralph, follow-up to Maybe I Can Get Laid In Jail; St. Mark's Theater, 94 St. Mark's Place (betw. 1st. Ave. & Ave. A), 777-6088; Sat. at 10:30, $12 [through 4/15].

OUTSIDE THE COMFORT ZONE

Writer/performer Steve Bird combines performance, characters & standup in his one-man show about attention starvation; Collective Unconscious, 145 Ludlow (betw. Stanton & Rivington Sts.) 254-5277; Fri. & Sat at 10, $5 [through 4/1].

PLAY IT BY EAR

Improv opera ensemble collaborates with audience for their "In The Moment" theme; the Producer's Club, 358 W. 44th St. (betw. 8th & 9th Aves.), 330-7790; Sat. at 8, $12, $8 st.

7 1/2 SECRETS OF A VERY SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP

Epstein & Hassan, the ultimate "inter-" couple, share their marital secrets; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St., 2nd Fl. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 673-4182 or www.surfreality.org; Mon. at 8, $8 [through 3/27].

SKETCH COMEDY SHOW

Stand-up, live music & your chance to appear on tv; Wings Theater, 154 Christopher St. (betw. Greenwich & Washington Sts.), 627-2961, res. req.; Tues. at 7, $15.

SUNDAY NIGHT IMPROV

Weekly improv comedy jam based on audience participation, incl. performers from Chicago City Limits, Chainsaw Boys & others; Homegrown Theater, 2628 B'way (betw. 99th & 100th Sts.), 353-7716; Sun. at 7-9, $7, $6 adv.

TRAVEL SHOW: FROM HEROES TO ETERNITY

The Circle in the Squirrel send a lonesome traveler around the world; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St., 2nd Fl. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 673-4182 or www.surfreality.org; Fri. at 8; $8.

TWELVE ANGRY SHOWS

Weekly platter of sketch & improv comedy with open jam segment by five-member troupe; Surf Reality, 172 Allen St., 2nd Fl. (betw. Houston & Stanton Sts.), 673-4182 or www.surfreality.org; Sat. at 10, $8, $6 st.

UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE

A plethora of events from some of the strangest, yet sanest, people around. "The Tame Show" (Weds. at 8) followed by "Icky" (9:30); "Herald Night" double feature (Thurs. at 8 & 9:30) & "Bogus Sting" (11, free); Friday, Delaney & Dave's sketch comedy, "Naked Babies in Emotional Stuntmen" (8); "Piledriver" (Fri. at 10); Open improv jam (Fri. at 12 a.m.); New scenes from Comedy Central's "The Hand of Adonis" (Sat. at 8); "The Real Real World," skits MTV too fraidy-cat to air (Sat. at 10), "Feature Feature," improvised movies, (Sat. at 11:30); "A.S.S.S.S.C.A.T. 2001" long-form improv show is still running (Sun. at 7:30 & 9:30); "Eddie!," the one-man show runs (Tues. at 7); Students of UCB get a chance to practice in "New Team Harold" (Tues. at 9:30); Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, 161 W. 22nd St. (betw. 6th & 7th Aves.), 366-9176 or www.uprightcitizens.org for info; most performances $5.